CAMERA HOG

I think it’s time to accept it. We don’t have a big 25lb cat. We just need to look at it differently. What we have here is a miniature mountain lion. Just without the whole mountain lion attitude. Don’t let his size fool you. He’s a wussy-cat. A loooooover… not a fighter. He might smother you in the bed with his sheer size and practically stop you from breathing just by sitting on your chest but at least it would be death by love.

Spanky and the camera share a special relationship. He loves it and it loves him right back. Someday, I’ll make this feline butt-head a webpage with media credits of his own because every film crew or photographer who has ever stepped foot on this property has devoted multiple megapixels and reams of film to this 25lb lump of fur. Spanky laps it up like a bowl of sweet cream. Seriously, the cat turns on the charm like a lightbulb and struts his ginger-striped self around like he’s on some sort of catwalk.

[Cue the blowing fan.]

Well hello there... no, not you dumb human-person... I'm talkin' to the funny black box stuck to your face with the lens-y thing in front of it.

Lemme kees it. I wuvs it becuz it wuvs me. I know it does.

My thoughtful, stare-0ff-in-the distance pose with perfectly placed paws. This one should go on the front page of my website. I'm workin' it baby!

Here I am, babes ... Your daily dose of handsome. Be careful not to stare at me too long lest my extreme hotness cause you sunburns.

Puh-leeze. Someone at least get this guy an agent and rack in some endorsement deals (Hello companies of organic cat food and Temptations Kitty Treats?).

He already has a fan club of people. During school days, he sits at the end of the driveway so that the teachers at the school next door can love him up. Once class is in session, he saunters into the house, proudly wafting clouds of perfume from his fur like a badge of honor. “I’m adored…”

And yes, (sadly?), people inquire about him when we’re out and about and tabling at events:  “How’s Spanky?”     At events here on the Urban Homestead, people request his presence and Spanky obliges willingly, ever so content to keep his fanclub pleased.

So… sleeeeeepies… Being handsome is such HARD work!

DISCLAIMER: Yes, I’m not ashamed to admit, I’m a card carrying member of the I-love-Spanky fanclub and this post was written in between bouts of Spanky-snuggling with lots of snorgling and mooshing my face into his fuzzy wuzzy belly and making goo-goo blowing raspberry noises. He thinks I’ve finally lost my mind.  I’m not sure I can argue with him.

Comments(19)

  1. Anais says:

    Yeah, another post by very talented sis! Love it when bro and sis contribute to LHITC don’t you?

    As for Spanky, well the post and pics speak for themselves.

    • cF says:

      @Jordanne,
      love this blog post. disclaimer was priceless

  2. Connie says:

    Cool Cat…what would we do without them? Our 16 year old is named Claws E. Moto ha! ha!

  3. Bob says:

    We call that cat Tango ,or Tim or Titan or Echo at our house . All look the same except for size and gender .

    Tango is very close cousin to Spanky and is the leader of our pack, or pride . What is the official color of these cats Fawn, Yellow Orange? some stripes are faint and some very visible.

  4. booksb4bread says:

    And I thought I was the only one who mooshes my face into my kitty’s humongous belly! At least if I’m crazy, I’m in fabulous company!

  5. Kathryn says:

    Wow, 25 lbs? He doesn’t look fat. He must just be big. Our Maine Coon Mix (who is quite a comic in his own right) looks enormous, but he only weighs about 14-15 lbs. He loves when we have company, too, so he has more folks to love on.

    Spanky certainly is a handsome fellow.

  6. Kris says:

    Ooh, what a stud muffin Spanky is! We have two ginormous orange boys (one long hair, one short hair wearing a striped orange and white tux!) and they know they’ve got it going on, too! We even call our huge orange tux boy Mycroft by his better (more accurate) nickname, The Crusher.

    Thanks for sharing! 🙂

  7. John says:

    Now that’s a cat!

  8. Rose says:

    John took the words out of my mouth: that IS a cat!

  9. JBB says:

    Write, Jordanne, write!

  10. Laura @ Getting There says:

    That is one gorgeous kitty you have there! I love fat cats. The cat we have now is old, skinny, and cranky–not nearly as nice for cuddling! 🙂

  11. Chiot's Run says:

    We used to have a 25 lb cat, they’re so great, like 2 regular cats. When he was gone we had to get 2 to replace him. Then another fatty showed up at the door commanding attention and love. He’s now a member of the family entertaining guests with his sheer size.

    Hope I can meet Spanky some day 🙂

  12. Mimi says:

    Jordanne, I couldn’t finish reading the post at first because I was laughing so hard. Way too funny!

  13. Cherry says:

    Love the cat. We have three adored one of which would be in that weight ratio. She is so fat she cant clean her bottom…also she eats the cat food like something akin to a front end digger. Love her and the others to bits. I was amazed and thrilled to find that you are kiwis (well born here0 I first read about you in the issue of urban farm. And yoiu have been my urban heroes since. Infact I am SLOWLY pouring thru all your archives. we are setting something up similar here..still just bay steps, as we have wantd to return to the land FOREVER but until then i thought wed bite the bullet and do a backyard thing. We have five chooks (who are still laying five precioous eggs even now in winter) and a just uilt a big raised vege garden. I have pulled out my corner garden and am in the process of plnting an orchard. I come to your site for inspiration and my blog reflects our life except I am a bit slow at updating it!! Imm off now to plant some new strawberries.
    Take care
    Cherry

  14. Grizzly Bear Mom says:

    My sister’s cat was so fat she wrote this song
    “Felix the cat, is fat, fat, fat, fat fat!
    Whenever he gets in a fix,
    he gets stuck ’cause he’s so thick”

    • Anais says:

      @Grizzly Bear Mom: Very funny little ditty. Thanks for sharing. 😉

  15. Kathy says:

    There is nothing like the smell of a warm kitty belly when you’re sleeping and no better way to go then smothered in love!

  16. diane says:

    Your cat looks just like my moms cat Roga, he has a great attitude.

  17. Cats Against Clay | Barnyards and Backyards says:

    […] outside during the daylight hours and they spend the time sleeping or just exploring the yard. Spanky, our resident bad-boy-film-star does get itchy feet from time to time (somehow, it always happens around a full moon) and we'll see […]

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